Characters:
Kelsey: A very pretty artist in her mid-twenties. She is a care-free and go-with-the-flow individual who is never afraid to speak her mind. Her personality is very much like her art, very colorful and energetic.
Megan: 3rd grade teacher in a Catholic school. She is in her mid-twenties and carries a lot of stress. She is very quiet and self-conscious. She is working on her Masters and is newly engaged.
Setting:
A small, crowded Baltimore City bar full different classes of people celebrating the end of a long week of school or work. Music is playing loudly and some are dancing on the dance floor. Takes place in the year 2015 on a Friday night.
Bar Scene
Megan is sitting at the bar wearing the clothes she taught in. She is reserving the chair next to her for Kelsey. She stands and waves when Kelsey enters the bar. Kelsey is wearing jeans and a shirt and her arms and hands are paint covered from the hours she spent in the studio earlier.
Megan:
Oh my gosh! It's so great to see you it's been too long!
Kelsey:
I know! Don't be such a damn stranger, I missed you!
Megan:
Excuse me sir, I would like a glass of chardonnay and... Kels, what would you like?
Kelsey:
I'll take a Miller Lite bottle and a shot of Fireball, thanks.
Kelsey downs her shot of Fireball and sets the empty shot glass back on the bar.
Kelsey:
So how was your day?
Megan:
It was okay, I only had to deal with two criers, one temper tantrum, and one kid asking what the dark circles under my eyes were for.
Kelsey:
Shit, and I thought I had it bad for catching myself talking to myself three different times in my studio. Girl you need a shot!
Megan:
Oh, no.. Really.. I can't.
Kelsey:
One shot won't kill you, Meg.
(to the bartender:)
We'll take two shots of Fireball.
Megan and Kelsey both swing back their shots and slam the shot glasses back onto the bar.
Megan:
(coughs)
ugh, that was terrible!
Kelsey:
Come on girl! Live a little! You're in a bar wearing black dress pants, a shirt up to your neck, and a cardigan, drinking dry wine. You scream boring and responsible right now.
Megan:
Fine, I'll do one more shot.
Kelsey orders another round of shots for the two of them, and then another.
Megan:
(starting to slur her words)
Do..Do you realllly think that I'm... boring?
Kelsey:
Nooooooo. You just put off that impression sometimes!
Megan:
Screw it. I'm sleeping on your couch tonight. Let's have fun!
Kelsey:
There we go!
Bartender, we'll take two more shots, please!
Kelsey and Megan take the shots and walk over to the dance floor
End Scene
Sarah, you had me laughing at this scene. It was too funny! I love how the two very different characters played off of one another. I enjoyed seeing Megan become more at ease as Kelsey encouraged her to have a little fun. I personally could not find any errors with your scene. You introduced the characters and the setting very well. And, as I said before, you did a great job placing the different characters in a wild and realistic scene. I would be interested to see where else their friendship takes them. I have a couple friendships similar to this one!
ReplyDeleteSarah,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your scene, it was cute, fun and realistic of how female friendships are. It was really easy to read and follow. The description of the characters really helped to follow along while reading and helped a lot as a visual aid. The scene ended wanting to know more. Maybe you could include dialogue of the bartender. But awesome dialogue here.
-Alexandra
This scene was pretty fun! I really enjoyed the dialog. It felt very natural and genuine. The teacher's dialog stood out to me the most because of how realistic it was. The line where you talk about the criers and tantrums had me dying. I liked how your tow characters were completely different from one another, but they didn't have a conflict with each other in the scene. I feel like doing that with two completely different people would be tough, but you pulled it off very nicely.
ReplyDelete