Smokin' and Drinkin'

My mother always taught me to teach my kids while they're young,
Teach them to read, teach them to write, teach them the important things in life.
Well, I never liked reading and I never liked writing, so I'll teach them the funner things in life.
I'll teach them to smoke,
I'll teach them to drink,
I'll teach them to joke,
and I'll teach them it's okay to stink.
I'll teach them how to roll a blunt,
and how to gamble.
I'll teach them how to hunt,
but I ain't teachin' them no preamble.
My children will grow up just like me,
spontaneous and wild and free.
What the hell am I thinking
They'll grow up to be little shits
Kids, grab your shoes and put down the booze.
You're going to school, you've got nothing to lose.